Leaving Ressler
by Giving You A Nightcall
Summary: Liz stops by Ressler's apartment before she goes with Red to say goodbye. This is what should've happened. Keenler. 1x22.


She had to tell him. She couldn't go without telling him. He deserved to know, after everything that happened. After they actually became friends and confidants. They cared about each other. She went to him when she had nowhere else to go. She wanted to just go to him now and stay there, but she had to go to Red. She needed answers about her life. She didn't really know what she was getting herself into, but she was okay with it. A lot had changed in the past few weeks. Tom was dead, Berlin appeared, Meera was killed, Cooper was in the ICU, Red didn't have immunity anymore, and her job status was unclear. He was the only one who remained unchanged.

Knocking on his apartment door felt familiar. It wasn't long ago that she went to him about Tom. Except this time, she had her bags with her. She was on the way to Red. When he opened his door, he didn't look as confused as last time, until he saw her bags.

"Ressler, we need to talk," Liz announced in an unsure voice. She prayed he would understand.

He opened the door a little more to let her in and closed it behind her. She dropped her bags by the door and he led her to the couch.

"What's going on, Liz?" His eyes looked worried. Because he was. He didn't know if she was okay.

"I'm leaving."

Ressler looked upset. They were finally friends and he valued their relationship. "Where are you going?"

"It's not really up to me," Liz stammered out. She didn't know how to tell him.

"What does that mean? Are you being forced to leave?"

"No, um, it means that I'm going with Red." Liz couldn't look at Ressler as she spoke; she was too nervous.

Ressler was shocked. He had no clue of any type of relationship between Red and Liz. He didn't know they spoke out of work. He didn't know about Sam, or the fire. "Liz. Why would you go with Red?"

Liz was still looking down. "He has the answers."

"What answers?"

"He knows more about me than I do. He knows everything about me. He knows who my real father is."

"What makes you think that Red's going to tell you if you go with him?"

"Nothing. He may not. But I'm tired of living in the dark." Tears were running down Liz's face. She didn't know what else to do anymore. She didn't know what was right and what was wrong. She just killed her so though perfect husband. Number four on the FBI's Most Wanted was one of the only people she could actually trust. Her life didn't make any sense anymore. She felt as if she was living someone else's life. She was normal. This wasn't normal.

Ressler finally got Liz to look at him by finding her hand and taking it in his. She looked at him with fear in her eyes. It was one of the rare times that she let the perpetual feeling of fear inside of her come out. She'd learned to suppress it perfectly in the past few months.

"Living with him won't bring you closer to the light."

"Neither will living in that house of lies and deception." Her face frowned at the mention of her house. Moving out of her house marked the end of her hopes of ever making her life right again. It killed her. "I just can't anymore."

Ressler saw her face become even more distressed and squeezed her hand. He wished that her life could be easier and she could be happy. It pained him to see her in pain. "Live here. With me. We can find out the answers together." He meant every word he said. He was willing to do anything to help her.

Liz was touched. He didn't judge her or get mad at her; he just tried to help her. To house her. But no matter how much she wanted to take him up on his offer, she couldn't. She already crossed over to the dark side. She couldn't play it safe anymore. "Don, thank you," She paused to look into his eyes, as if telling him her answers without speaking. "but I can't. If I don't go with him now, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. He's about to go on the run and I have to stop him. He can't go away for another twenty-three years. Not when I'm dying because my world is collapsing around me."

Ressler immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. She laid her head on his chest as she sobbed. She didn't feel self-conscious in his arms. She wasn't one to cry into anyone's chest, but he wasn't just anyone. Not anymore. She used to really dislike him. And he used to not trust her. Now he was the one she went to when she had no one else. So she just cried in his arms and snuggled deeply into his arms because she didn't know when she would see him next.

When she would go to Red, she would be giving up any control she had left over her life. Whatever he would do, she would have to do it with him. If he would go back to the FBI, she would go with him. If he would want her to get on that plane with him, she would. She would possibly be making herself into a fugitive, going off the radar with him. Maybe if they went back to the FBI, she would be put in that box with him. Her whole future was about to become ambiguous. She was scared for what was to come and all her fears melted away in Ressler's arms. She wished it could just be simple and she could stay with him.

Ressler gently laid kisses in her hair as he held her. He didn't want to ever let go. Like Liz, he was afraid that it would be a long time until they would see each other again, if they ever would. He didn't want his partner to leave. He didn't want his friend to leave. He didn't want this to be the last time they would ever see each other, or speak to each other. There was so much more that was supposed to happen between them. They were supposed to heal each other. They were supposed to go to each other when the loneliness got too hard. They were supposed to end up together, and be there for each other for the rest of their lives. Now they could only hope that they wouldn't forget about each other, and it broke their hearts.

"Please," Liz started to talk into his chest. It was hard for her to say at all and being in the middle of sobbing didn't make it any easier, but she had to say it and she couldn't wait. "promise me that you'll always catch me when I fall."

Hearing Liz speak so desperately and despondently brought tears to his eyes. "Liz look at me," He managed to choke out after taking a few moments to compose himself. Liz slowly looked up into his blue eyes, possibly for the last time. "You are not going to fall. You are the strongest person I know." He cupped her face as the tears streamed down both of their faces. "You can get through this, but it's killing me that I won't be able to be there for you. I'm going to miss you more than anything in the world."

Liz closed her eyes when he spoke, trying to internalize his words. They just made her cry harder. Hearing him say that he's going to miss her made it so much harder to leave. "I'm going to miss you too. I'm so sorry." She looked up at him again, her face still being held in his palms. She delicately placed her hands at the back of his neck and leaned in to give him a kiss on his cheek. She let her lips linger for a few seconds, reveling at the feel of his soft, warm skin. She then laid her head on his shoulder as he slowly laid themselves down. He wrapped his arms around her while she rested her head and hands on his torso. Their legs and feet settled entwined.

Laying in his arms, Liz felt a sense of wholeness she hadn't felt since Sam passed away. Why did she have to do this to herself? Leave the man who made her feel in a way she couldn't describe? She had to go soon or else she would miss Red. She didn't want to leave him, his warm embrace, but this time, she had to let her head take over her heart.

"I have to go," Liz stated as she made no attempt to move. However, Ressler did. He again cupped her cheeks in his hands and lifted her face up to his. He looked at her in the eyes for a split seconds before bringing her lips to his. He kissed her passionately, without restraint, as if her lips were his oxygen. She kissed him back with just as much passion, her hands finding the nape of his neck, enjoying it much more than kissing his cheek. They kept their lips joined together, not wanting to pull away, because once they pull away, Liz would be out the door. "Wait for me," Liz whispered against his lips.

Ressler kissed her again. "I don't have to."

Liz opened her eyes and looked into his. "Don, I have to go."

Ressler pulled away and looked into Liz's eyes with passion and determination. "I'm coming with you. What if you never come back? I won't be able to live. I'm going to be there with you wherever you go and I don't care about the consequences. I don't want to live my life waiting for the only person I love knowing I had the chance to go with her."

Ressler just admitted to Liz that he loved her, and it didn't go without notice. Liz kissed him again, not being able to control herself after his admission. "I love you, too."

Deciding to finish their moment when they didn't have someone to stop from getting on a plane, Liz got up from the couch, taking his hands in hers so she could retain his warmth. "We have to go catch Red."

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**Hey guys! I just really wished this happened! lol It's a little fluffy but I think we all need it to get us through the summer! lol I hope you enjoyed this story and pleeaasseee review! They make my life!**


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